Anything to Declare? Ten Pairs of Dancing Feet
A gorilla declares Swan Lake at customs. The geladas are taking Tsyganochka to Russia. Nobody has booked a return ticket for the band.
Essay · Everyone · EN
Olga Goodman, MD · Rheumatology in Perspective
Published · Updated November 8, 2026
“Purpose of travel?” asked the customs officer.
“Ballet,” said the gorilla.
“And the lake?”
“Scenery.”
He waved the gorilla through. The Dutch proboscis monkeys took longer. Under Anything to declare? they had written wooden shoes. Under How many? they had written You’ll hear. From three gates away came the sound of a cupboard falling downstairs.
The geladas were next. “Where are you dancing?” “Russia.” The officer wrote Tsyganochka in the programme and asked how long the number ran. “Three minutes for the dance,” said the bandleader. “How much time have you got for the encores?”
I had come to watch the films. By the third stop I had a passport, an opinion about morning stiffness, and a rheumatologist looking over my shoulder. “There are two bonus questions for doctors,” I told her. She handed me her suitcase.
Play a stop below. Watch the dance at your leisure, answer three questions, and see which stamp lands in your passport. If you try “Call the doctor,” RheumaView opens the relevant reading. The doctor herself is still at customs. She clicked the second bonus question.
Fictional, AI-created dance films by Olga Goodman, MD.